Thursday, August 28, 2008

manic

okay so tonight has been really weird. i started off crying. then i got angry. then immediately spectacular. ontop of the world. never better. its like the feeling you get when you feel nothing could go wrong. but this feeling will end soon, ebruptly, swiftly. thats what i hate about this shit, the only feeling that stays long enough is sad, worthless, and upset. my happy moods last, usually, on average of 2-3 hrs, most of the time its less. short bursts of excitement, then... poof. they are gone, just as quick as they came.

coming down off of this manic mood will go something like this...

picture an airplane, one engine prop plane, pilot and co pilot.
beautiful sunny day, perfect flight.
coming in and getting ready to land, now it starts.
landing gears wont go down.
wheels wont go down either.
[now you are fucked.]

the landing is everything but soft.
skidding down, sparks flying, spinning out of control.
thats the landing.
in the end, you both survive, but you feel like shit at the end.
shaken up.

and tomorrow... it could happen all over again.

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