Conversation with the brother

Me: Have I told you recently that I love you, and that I am proud of you. Well. Just wanted to put that out there.

Bro: Hey kiddo, love you too! I tell people all the time how proud I am of you.

Me: I dont feel so proud of myself, but thank you!

Bro: I am not having this contestant with you. You are doing awesome.

Me: I dont feel like doing this whole school thing anymore. I hate it here.

Bro: I am not going to hit you with cliche's but you quit because things get hard, you're no different than dad. You're gunna do what you want either way, but you'll regret quitting. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But you will.

Me: You know I wont quit. I am just tired of feeling dumber than half the school, who can graduate with 4.0's on time.

Bro: You're not, but when you devote more time to running your gay pride association then studying you're gunna slide. You need to devote your time to what matters. Graduate and be done with it... know what the call a guy that graduates bottom of his class of med school? Doctor.

Me: I am not going to med school. I am going to be a conservationist. You know what they call those here who cant graduate on time? Slackers and my organization isnt affecting my grades. You dont knwo what its like to be marginalized. I have to constantly fight to get rights and respect.

Bro: No. You choose to fight for respect. I support you best I can, kid but you make your homosexuality out to be work. I work around gays all day long and they're treated no different than me or anyone else. College may not be exactly the same but I'm betting that if (you) it werent so damn hypersensitive and took things less personally your life would be infinitely better. There are millions of people out there who have it so much worse than you, but all you can do it wallow in self pity over your sexual orientation. Grow up Krystal. Because you may be getting away with this now, but when you get into the real world all you be is a feminist bitch. I love you, and I'm sorry that you're gonna be mad and once again wallow in your own self pity for a week, but there will be a day when you figure out that I'm right.

Me: I am not wallowing in self pity. I want the same rights as you were born with and I will be damned if I am going to let anyone refuse me that. I study alot. I am aceing organic chemistry. I am finally proud of who I am and I am happy. I am just pissed at one class. Again thanks for making me feel like I'm 5yrs old. I was wrong in thinking I could talk to you without getting a lecture.

Bro:You get treated as how you act. You have the same rights. This isn't 16th century europe.

Me: I just wanted some confidence that I figured you could give me. Sorry to bother you at work.
Me: Alright have a good night. Love you.
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During this conversation I was at dinner with a few friends. I couldnt help but start to cry. I learned that my brother is not someone I should ever go to for anything other than a hardass response.
I am not going to stop fighting for equal rights.
I am not going to faulter and give up.
If that means I am in some peoples eyes, a feminist bitch, than so be it.
I am allowed to marry in ONE state. I am allowed to adopt in THREE. I want to ask how that is that same rights as my brother.
When I need to pee in public, I search for a gender neutral bathroom because i am too scared to use a female one. I am afraid of people looking at me like I have six heads, like I am in the wrong bathroom because I look like a guy. I called my aunt crying. She had no idea what to say except that "You are fighting for what you believe in, more than he's ever done." I think that was the best thing she has ever said to me.

All this started by me telling him I loved him. By wanting to do the right thing and wanting to share with him how I was feeling. Lesson learned. Guess he wont come to my wedding. Oh right. I cant fucking get married.