I have been struggling with the developing story concerning Amber. Most people know what has been going on with the investigation. Agents have been to my dorm and have asked me numerous questions concerning our relationship. We met once. I was honest, truthful and blunt. Just as they were with me.

I had a nightmare last night concerning Amber and her daughter. Everytime I woke up, I fell back into the dream right where I left off. It has left me feeling lost.

Tonight at AA I saw someone with the same structural facial features as Amber. I feel like wherever I go, I will be reminded of my mistakes. All I want to do is curl into a ball and cry. Could be my period. Could be that I just cant take the stress of this situation anymore. I am trying to get over this. Move on with my life. My brain just wont shut off. I find myself searching for updates on the case daily. I am not sure why I am so obsessed with researching this. I think I just want to reassure myself that I didnt make a mistake. That she isnt crazy. I never thought that when we hung out. She seemed normal. But clearly something was wrong because she killed someone. The pictures online are devastating. I need to get over this. Quickly. *sighs*