Skillet- Comatose

I hate feeling like this
I'm so tired of trying to fight this
I'm asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to You
Tell me that You will listen
You're touch is what i'm missing
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing You
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of You
I don't wanna live, I dont wanna breathe
'Les I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way You make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
I hate living without You
Dead wrong to ever doubt You
But my demons lay in waiting
Tempting me away
Oh how I adore You
Oh how I thirst for You
Oh how I need You
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of You
I don't wanna live, I dont wanna breathe
'Les I feel You next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
Breathing life
Waking up
My eyes open up
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of You
I don't wanna live, I dont wanna breathe
'Les I feel You next to me
You take the pain I feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way You make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real
Oh how I adore You
Waking up to You never felt so real
Oh how I thirst for You
Waking up to You never felt so real
Oh how I adore You
The way You make me feel
Waking up to You never felt so real

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I heard this song in the car last night with KT fray and Meggles.  I love this song.  I only needed to hear it once to be addicted to the words and the feelings it left resonating in me.  It echos everything I have never been able or willing to say.  It makes me feel like I am not so crazy.  Maybe I am and there is someone out there who feels the same as I do.

Resonating is such a good word: Produce or be filled with a deep, full, reverberating sound.  Its a figurative form of speech.  To evoke or suggest images, memories or emotions.  Comes from the latin word resonare.

I cant seem to explain all my feelings lately which is why I havent blogged about what I am feeling. " Your finger tips across my skin.  You sang me spanish lullabyes, the sweetest sadness in your eyes. I never wanna see you unhappy.  Goodbye, my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream, I'm trying not to think about you." (And failing miserably).  And I am failing miserably.  I can feel myself pushing you away and thats something I dont want, but in fear I am doing it, unconsciously and consciously.  Sometimes I have to, other times I dont.  Like putting myself down makes you take a step back, but you always step forward again.  Will there be a time where you wont step forward again and I'll regret pushing.  The intelligent thing to do at this point would be to try see myself from your perspective.  This is my goal.  To try harder to accept myself and change the things I dont like.  Being a hardass for one.  I will show the real me.  I hope people can handle the change.  I hope I can handle the change.