Sunday, February 8, 2009

random bundled up bullshit

Slowly slipping.
I told my counselor I had an anger problem.
Its true.
Sometimes I just break, and everything I have never wanted to tell someone will slip out.

I didnt mean to push you away.. atleast not that far away.

Its the eye of the tiger, its the thrill of the fight.

I dont know what I am doing here at Umaine and that scares me.

I am terrified about how I feel about you.

I just got a 60 on my ochem quiz.
Fuck my life.

I will try harder next time. One thing that pisses me off... 2,3-bromohexene shouldve been 2,3-dibromohexene. I didn't get partial credit. My roomate is talking really loud and I am losing focus on my shitty writing.

Short story from friday:
I was walking to the Counseling Center having a cig, thinking about what I could talk about today, my main thought: I have a lab report due in 8 hrs that I havent started. My depression has come in full swing again.
I saw Madye walking. She stopped to hug me. She thanked me for moving my cig out of range when she did hug me. I only replied with a "You're Welcome."

What I really wanted to say:
Thank you for being able to brighten a room by walking into it. Thank you for hugging me when I felt most vulnerable, even though I am not the most personable individual you know.Thank you for being my friend. I really wish I could be more like you. Happy about life, happy with my major, easily made happy. When I walk into a room, people don't smile like when they see you. I wish I could make them do that. I wish I was happier, more calm, and a little less anxious would be nice too. My energy always seems to be so uptight and unhappy. I wish I could be more like you.

Now I wish I would've told her that.

1 comment:

howcloseis said...

Madye has that effect on people. I love that girl.

& I love you too<3