Incidentally, Don't ever get raped by a domesticated cat Dr. Chan.  They have barbed penis' to ravage the vagina on the way out to stop the female from mating again.

Shit, glad I'm not a cat.  Hell I would probably be a gay cat anyway which would suck even more.

I have no idea why I am typing this.  Random thoughts flowing now.

"Gotta check into rehab cuz baby you're my disease"- Song playing Rehab by Rihanna

"You got me thinking, your the reason I don't wanna smoke on this cigarette no more"

Thinking about sunsets and soft sand between my fingers.

Warm water rushing over my toes, laying in her arms.

Feeling the warmth of the sun as it falls silently into the horizon.

You can only hear our breaths, and the waves crashing around us.

Perhaps a bird in the distance, fluttering of wings.

"In the arms of an angel, fly away from here."- Sarah McLaughin Angel

I just want, a piece of mind.

Laying in bed, thinking, dreaming, wishing. Soft music and the sound of the keys as I press into them.  click click click, backspace 4X.  Sweet madness. Glorious sadness brings these thoughts to me. From this dark cold hotel room and this endlessness that you fear.

I am trying to look past the wreckage.  I wanna find the comfort in the arms of an angel.

I think I am ranting. *sigh* feels like a waste of time.

I wish the swings would stop.  Hopelessly happy one minute, then a trigger and I am off, flying and falling into more endless thoughts.

"I will remember you, will you remember me?"

Something I ask myself daily.  Am I worth remembering?  What will people say at my funeral?  What will their memories say about me.

"She was moody, she was angry alot, but overall a good hearted person."

I wish the first two parts weren't so, but I don't think I have much to defend in that.  I am moody and if any mood overrides another, it would be my anger.  Resentments are my downfall.  Takes me forever and a day to forgive and forget.  Pain overrides the sadness and anger sets in.  I am not one to hate, but I am one to keep a grudge.  I wish I could let go and move on.  Move on and let go.  I would just like to take a breath and feel better.  I would take so many breaths but that would be it.  There wouldn't be consistent thoughts of revenge, which I will never partake in, but the thoughts are enough.

I just want to let go.  And move on.

I will remember you, will you remember me?  Do you remember me?  Do you want to remember me?  I just want these thoughts to stop.