My Christmas:

Alarm clock screeching at 5am to remind me that indeed it is Christmas and I had to be to work by 7am.  Got up, ate something (banana, which I hate but thats what we had) and took a cinnamon bun in a paper bag and a two liter of diet coke with me.

I drove to the skate park/beach and watched the sun rise (I realized I didnt have quite the view I needed from the skate park).  I wished my mom, my grandparents, my uncles and my moms friend Nina, all have which passed, a Merry Christmas.  But I felt at ease with it all at that moment this morning.  The sun hit my face, a few gusts of wind later and I was back in the car and off to work.

My puppies at work greeted me with much enthusiasm and it made going in all the better.  I was a little sad but throwing a few balls soon made those feelings dissipate.  My boss only checked in on me three times as opposed to his usual five or six.  Easy dogs easy day.  I strategically assigned groups for my puppies and had them all out and fed by 715.  We played for an hour outside then I put them inside.  And designated yet again more groups.  I looked at my clock too often however and the morning dragged on.  So I put on some music and cleaned and the next I knew it was noon and my shift was over.  I hugged my favorite dog Hannabelle and drove home.

I got home, was met by a somewhat angry aunt (ANT *lol*) and decided it would be best if I steered clear.  I finished making my dads Xmas gift, wrapped it and stuck it in the family room.  Then I crawled into bed.  Looked at my computer monitor and smiled.  Then my dad walked in and I realized I had fallen asleep (my bad).... my aunt and uncle had left for Mass to see the rest of my family (YIPPY) and it was time for AA.

A man who shall not be named, came and picked us up and we drove to Kittery for two hours of AA.  Then we headed to Hampton and set up our Christmas Evening Help Yourself Meeting.  It was good to see everyone and I spoke at the meeting (I usually don't speak at meetings but for some reason I had a burning urge to all week so I did).  I talked about how both my father and I avoid Xmas like the plague (hence me working and then avoiding seeing the rest of my family by going to AA).  I also mentioned that when I arrived home last friday that my dad asked if I wanted to go to the meeting that night.  I really like the friday night meetings so of course I agreed and we walked down (in 8 inches of snowy shit) and set it up.  On the way down he asked me what I wanted for Christmas because my aunt and him were going shopping Sat night.  I thought about it long and hard but came to the realization that I have exactly what I wanted.  He was sober for another Christmas.  I was blessed with having him in my life for the second Christmas in a row and he wasn't drinking to dull the pain.  What more could a kid ask for.  I prayed and begged "God" to help him for 6 years.  6 years of disappointments and being depressed.  I felt like I lost both parents that day in May.  However, my father surprised me and got sober last year and has stuck it out so far.  I have exactly what I want.   I am not alone.  And I still have one parent left which is all I need today (I may have disagreed 5 years ago but I accept the changes and I am grateful for what I have).  My sober dad is all I need today.

AA ended and we got a ride home.  We will be celebrating Xmas in an hour... 11:30pm or tomorrow morning.  Whatever happens I am still happy that I have him and he isn't lying next to her in the dirt.

Merry Christmas.  Happy Chanukah.